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Meeresbande Zine #2, S. 59 – Yesterday I cried

20. Oktober 2016

59-yesterday-i-cried

A poem by Iyanla Vanzant 
from the book 'Yesterday I Cried':
Yesterday I cried
I came home, went straight to my room, sat on the edge of my bed,
kicked off my shoes, unhooked my bra, and I had myself a good cry.
I'm telling you, I cried until my nose was running all over the silk
blouse I got on sale.
I cried until my ears were hot.
I cried until my head was hurting so bad
that I could hardly see the pile of soiled tissues lying on the floor
at my feet.
I want you to understand,
I had myself a really good cry yesterday.
Yesterday, I cried,
For all the days that I was too busy, too tired or too mad,
to cry.
I cried for all the days, and all the ways,
and all the times I had dishonored, disrespected
and disconnected my Self from myself,
only to have it reflected back to me in the ways others did to me
the same things I had already done to myself.
I cried for all the things I had given, only to have them stolen;
for all the things I had asked for that had yet to show up;
for all the things I had accomplished,
only to give them away to people in circumstances,
which left me feeling empty, and battered and plain old used.
I cried because there really does come a time when the only thing left
for you to do is cry.
Yesterday I cried.
I cried because little boys get left by their daddies;
and little girls get forgotten by their mommies;
and daddies don't know what to do, so they leave;
and mommies get left, so they get mad.
I cried because I had a little boy, and because I was a little girl,
and because I was a mommy who didn't know what to do,
and because I wanted my daddy to be there for me so badly until I
ached.
Yesterday, I cried.
I cried because I hurt. I cried because I was hurt.
I cried because hurt has no place to go
except deeper into the pain that caused it in the first place,
and when it gets there, the hurt wakes you up.
I cried because it was too late. I cried because it was time.
I cried because my soul knew that I didn't know that my soul knew
everything I needed to know.
I cried a soulful cry yesterday, and it felt so good.
It felt so very very bad.
And in the midst of my crying, I felt my freedom coming,
Because
Yesterday, I Cried
With An Agenda.
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